Book Review: Simply An Enigma by Brittany Evans and Chelsea Lauren

(Photo by Brittany Evans)

Rating: 5/5 stars

About: an own voice novel about an ace boy, sex positive girl, and the act of learning to love yourself amidst the high school hallways.

Release date: August 14th, 2018

I was given the opportunity to beta read this novel and it’s coming up to publishing date and I’m so excited! Please read on:)

Continue reading “Book Review: Simply An Enigma by Brittany Evans and Chelsea Lauren”

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Growth

Give yourself time to grow into the person you’re meant to be. Beautiful flowers don’t grow in a day.

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NYC Trip Part 3- The Ugly Times (Picture isn’t related to title!)

To conclude my mini series on my New York trip, I thought I’d include some of the not so bright times.

For part one (intro) visit A Dream Come True: New York City Trip (Pt. 1)

For part two (favourite moments) visit NYC Trip Part 2- The Good Times

Now, this post isn’t going to surround issues of the city itself… I didn’t find any, and it’s not my place to judge anyway. But a few aspects of the trip weren’t as good as they could have been, or as I hoped they’d have been.

Below are two mini rants I hope you’ll enjoy!

Read on!

Continue reading “NYC Trip Part 3- The Ugly Times (Picture isn’t related to title!)”

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Book Review: Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann

Rating: 4 stars!

About: Alice had her whole summer planned. Non-stop all-you-can-eat buffets while marathoning her favorite TV shows (best friends totally included) with the smallest dash of adulting–working at the library to pay her share of the rent. The only thing missing from her perfect plan? Her girlfriend (who ended things when Alice confessed she’s asexual). Alice is done with dating–no thank you, do not pass go, stick a fork in her, done.

But then Alice meets Takumi and she can’t stop thinking about him or the rom com-grade romance feels she did not ask for (uncertainty, butterflies, and swoons, oh my!).

When her blissful summer takes an unexpected turn, and Takumi becomes her knight with a shiny library employee badge (close enough), Alice has to decide if she’s willing to risk their friendship for a love that might not be reciprocated—or understood. (Goodreads)

Review Below! Continue reading “Book Review: Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann”

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A Dream Come True: New York City Trip (Pt. 1)

Travelling to New York City has always been a dream of mine, probably since I was like eight years old. Around that time, I got heavily interested in music, and watching musicals. I’ve never been one to go about actually acting, but I love to watch the theater.

I wanted to pursue singing, and I wanted to go to a school in New York City for it. Also, to perform on Broadway which was a bit unrealistic but that’s okay. And I knew I wanted to watch a Broadway musical, preferably Wicked.

Well, on Wednesday, my dream came true. With the arts department at my school, I had the opportunity to go to NYC from Wednesday till Saturday. Granted, two of the days were for driving. We had a 10 hour bus ride each way. The plus side of this was I read a book on the way up (Let’s Talk About Love), and one on the way back (Simon Vs. The Homo Sapiens Agenda).

More below!

Continue reading “A Dream Come True: New York City Trip (Pt. 1)”

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I’m Officially an Adult!

Hey everyone! I’m officially an adult! Yesterday was my 18th birthday, and I thought I’d feel different – older – but, I don’t.

Yesterday was good though. It was prom, which I did not go to and am not regretting. I didn’t want to spend the night partying and dancing as it’s really not my kind of atmosphere.

Instead, I spent the day with my boyfriend watching movies and just being home, and then at night we went out with my family.

As it’s tradition on my mom’s side to go to Bingo on your 18th, there we went. We brought cupcakes, and balloons which were on my chair leg. They also made an announcement that it was my birthday and everyone in the Bingo hall clapped for me. I liked bingo and I’ll probably tag along with my parents now too, or even go on my own. I didn’t end up winning anything but my group decided winner splits 60/40 with me for my birthday, so I still walked away with $120.

Then we went to the casino which I didn’t like as much and probably won’t do again. I just wasn’t a fan of pushing a button and watching my winnings go up and down. I didn’t win anything there.

But my boyfriend and I shared a poutine while my parents and grandmas bet their money on the slots, and it was a really good poutine!

Anyways, that is it. I thought I’d feel older, but nothing has changed.

Stay strong,

Xx

-Cass

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Writing my Own Story in Life

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.

– Steve Jobs

 

If you read one of my last posts, I talked about finding the balance between making my own choices as well as following what my parents want. I don’t want to disappoint them, but at the same time, I also don’t want to feel controlled. I want to make my own decisions and do what I want to do.

More below!

Continue reading “Writing my Own Story in Life”

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My Poem: Blooming

Spring is full of vibrant colours

Flowers in full bloom

It’s time for me to do the same

Be vibrant

Bloom into who I want to be

Who I’m meant to be

It’s time for me to make some changes, specifically with my mental health, and be vibrant again.

Stay Strong

Xx

-Cass

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Broken Record: Stop Questioning My Orientation

….Because it really doesn’t help me, and I also just don’t get how it effects you in any way.

Whether it be direct or indirect, people are always questioning asexuality, and it’s really annoying.

A few days ago, I was sitting outside enjoying my lunch and starting a new book. A group of girls were sitting about 12ft (maybe? I’m really bad with distance) away from me, and I ended up listening to their conversation because they were talking quite loudly.

“Demi-sexual..isn’t that just choosing to wait till you have an emotional connection with someone? That’s basically straight, everyone’s like that”

“I’ve never met someone that’s really ace before”

“She’s so hot… she can’t be ace”

One of the girls in the group stepped forward and said, “actually, two of my friends are ace” and I was like yes, step forward and stop this! But she didn’t.

Obviously, they wouldn’t know that the person 12ft away was listening to them, or, that she were ace, but I’m tired of there being this questioning around Asexuality.

Read on!:)

Continue reading “Broken Record: Stop Questioning My Orientation”

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My Poem: Roller Coasters

Some days are like roller coasters

You buckle in and you’re anxious and stuck

But oh how good it feels at the end of the day to know that you overcame that roller coaster

It’s been a bit since I shared one of my poems.

This one, as you have problem figured out, is about anxiety and overcoming it, pushing through your battles and how rewarding it feels once you have.

I wrote this as motivation for myself to keep going, keep pushing through my issues.

When writing it, I was thinking about a roller coaster I went on with a few friends on a school trip… the biggest one I ever went on. I was terrified, and thought I was literally going to die. Afterwards, I was nauseous, had a hard time breathing, got a headache, and decided I really didn’t like roller coasters and wouldn’t be going on another one like that again.

So roller coasters became sort of a metaphor for my anxiety, and mental health in general.

The incline and drops represent the every day moods and struggles that we go through, and the feelings after that roller coaster ride represent my moods after an anxiety attack or just bad anxiety.

I hope you enjoyed my poem! I’ll be posting more here and there, but not too much.. I’m hoping to self publish a collection soon!:)

Stay Strong!

Xx

-Cass

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Quick Writing Update

Hello everyone! I thought I’d post a quick update here on my writing:)

So, I’m not sure if I’ve posted here before, but I’m writing a novel!… Or going to try to at least.

It will be a YA contemporary and I’m hoping to self publish when it’s done.
Right now, my word count is sitting at 5k, which I’d say is pretty good being only 3 chapters in.

I’ll be making a more specific post on this at a later date, so stay tuned!

I am also in the midst of putting together a poetry collection which will also be self published, and I currently have just under 50 poems written for it!

ALSO (So much here omg)

I am starting a children’s book…kind of.

I have the concept and the MC and a bit of the plot figured out, but I haven’t actually started writing it yet. This will also, hopefully, be self published. So much to work on!

Throughout the process of my projects, I am hoping to post updates and more specific project oriented posts!

Stay Strong!

Xx

-Cass

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Book Review: Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes

Rating- 3/5 stars

Description- The story of a mentally disabled man whose experimental quest for intelligence mirrors that of Algernon, an extraordinary lab mouse. In diary entries, Charlie tells how a brain operation increases his IQ and changes his life. As the experimental procedure takes effect, Charlie’s intelligence expands until it surpasses that of the doctors who engineered his metamorphosis. The experiment seems to be a scientific breakthrough of paramount importance–until Algernon begins his sudden, unexpected deterioration. Will the same happen to Charlie? (Goodreads)

When I started reading this book, I already had expectations because my boyfriend said his dad loved it and it made him cry at one point… So I was like yes, I’m ready to cry, give me this book. 

Well, I didn’t cry… which is kind of disappointing because I expected I would.
I didn’t not like the book, but I wouldn’t call it a favourite, and the only reason for that is my preferences in reading- not because it’s not a good book.

I usually read YA Contemporary, and this book is science fiction. I’ve been trying to branch out of my usual genre so this helped me with that, but I think it’s also part of the reason I didn’t like it a whole lot- because it’s so different from what I usually read.

The book is written like journal entries (progress reports) which I liked, and I thought it was perfect for the point of the novel.

I get that the point of the novel was to show progress in all aspects of the main character’s life, including reading and writing, but the first bit of the book especially, is written in horrible grammar and spelling to show the change. It was effective, I just don’t like reading like that.

There was also- not a lot- but there was some sexual themes starting in the middle of the novel and it’s just not my favourite topic:)

So overall, my rating isn’t a reflection of the book itself but my preferences in reading and that they are different from what this book is.

 

“I see now that the path I choose through the maze makes me what I am. I am not only a thing, but also a way of being- one of many ways- and knowing the paths I have followed and the ones left to take will help me understand what I am becoming.”

 

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Decisions, Decisions, Decisions… Making Me Happy vs. My Parents

Ah, the joys of being a teenager. Now, I get that many of the posts you see from teenagers may be complaints about how in ___ years, everything will be super expensive, or it will be hard to find jobs…anything of the sort. I wouldn’t say this is a post of that kind, but it is in relation to that.

In the last few months, if you’ve been reading my posts, you’d have heard me say a lot that my motivation has dropped substantially, which still holds true. I haven’t had a recent burst of energy to go and get everything done and figure out my life… that also just sounds completely unrealistic.

Below is a rant of sorts. Skip to the “Now onto present day” heading if you don’t want to read about past events:)

Continue reading “Decisions, Decisions, Decisions… Making Me Happy vs. My Parents”

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Stormy Weather- A Poem by Me

I stand strong against the winds of this storm in my mind

The one that darkens my mood and mixes up my thoughts

My body is rooted deep beneath the ground, yet I feel like I could be thrown about so easily

But strong I stand

– stormy weather

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Writing Updates/ Motivation Loss

My motivation for most everything has spiraled, and I haven’t done much of anything lately. I quit my school choir after the Christmas concert because I wasn’t enjoying it anymore. I haven’t been going to band as often because it’s too hard to wake myself up and walk to school for 7:15am twice a week. Assignments with school are starting to pile up because I don’t focus enough to do them at school, so I tell myself I’ll do it at home and I never get around to actually doing it, so I have around 7 assignments due/overdue right now.

I have continued to read although it is slightly less now. I’ve started beta reading and editing for people which has been a new experience I’m hoping to keep doing.

With writing, I still love writing poetry, and I’ve written a few things here and there, or a handful at a time when we were at the trailer for example and I felt isolated with no service or wifi for 3 days and I couldn’t contact my boyfriend. It was a lot on my mental health,  and knowing that I could be at the trailer every other weekend this summer is a lot. So I used reading and writing to take my mind off the situation and focus on something else, which did help a bit.

I started a book….something I don’t believe I have mentioned here yet, but I did!
It was going to be a YA Contemporary, because I’m use to reading in that genre so it felt natural that I’d write in it too. The book itself didn’t start off as a book though. It was an assignment in my Writer’s Craft course that exceeded the word count limit. So I transferred it to another document and went back to it, in hopes that I could turn it into something greater.

I didn’t have a plot figured out, I was writing line by line as I found many authors do. I kept note of character traits and main plot points, but everything else I was figuring out as I wrote.

And it all went well for a bit. My word count is currently sitting somewhere around 11.2k words that make up around 11 (short) chapters. I figured out the big events and how I’d want them connected, I told teachers, friends, and family about my idea.

But again, I lost motivation. A few days ago, I opened my document and didn’t want to write whatsoever. The concept seemed boring to me, and I was doubting my ability to turn my writing into an actual novel, let alone actually publish it later on. So I didn’t add to it.

A few weeks ago, after winning a giveaway, I received a book of writing prompts. As I flipped through, I landed on a page and read the prompt and fell in love with it. At the time, I bookmarked it so I’d have it in mind. When I lost motivation for my first novel, I thought I’d test my luck with this one.

I am now 2.3k words in, at one chapter so I’ve included much more imagery and description which I feel is a big improvement from the start of my other WIP. I’m hoping to continue this one and that the motivation will stay till the end. Otherwise, the most I can do is push through.

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Book Review- Malhaar: When it pours, soak yourself in poetry

I was sent a poetry collection a few months ago by a poet named Ambica Uppal. I was given the amazing opportunity to read this before the publication date. I read a lot of poetry, in many different styles, and have also started to write it myself so I couldn’t wait to read this collection.

For starters, I read it in two short sittings, and the only reason for that is because I had to stop myself for reading it all at once!

The writing in this book is full of raw emotion and vivid detail bringing readers an amazing experience.

I would definitely recommend this collection to others.
4 / 5 stars!

Favourite poems!

Believe in the rivers of strength
Flowing within you.
They can overcome any 
Current. 

You are strong

Give air to the constellations 
Burning inside of you 
Let them breathe and grow, 
And burst to cover you with little 
Specs of stars

The stars inside, let them shine

 

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Poem: Pluviophile

Pluviophile
Raindrops racing down the train window
as we trail along the tracks
the rain is falling

falling

falling

gentle and slow
just blurring reality on the other side of this window
it’s so gloomy out there
so dark
yet it brings me peace
pluviophile they call me
but who could not love the rain
so beautiful
so calm
holding the strength within to become a powerful force
a hurricane
a burst of energy
yet it remains calm today
welcoming me into its familiar embrace
calming my mind
calming my soul
wrapped in my blanket on this train to nowhere
I am most comfortable
a book perched on my lap
my feet curled underneath me
looking out the window
watching the raindrops race once again

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Beta Reading!

Simply An Enigma

About a month ago, I was contacted by one of our fellow bloggers. She saw my posts about asexuality and contacted me on Instagram (my book account), saying she co-wrote a book with one of her friends and one of the main characters was ace and they were wondering if I wanted to be a beta reader. This is a YA contemporary novel.

I didn’t even know what this entailed when they asked me. I had never even heard of the term till then, but I jumped at the chance to join their team!

I had the amazing opportunity to read the book before it was even published!

(Read on to hear about my current read and what the future may hold for beta reading!)

Continue reading “Beta Reading!”

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Sleep, Mental health, Stress, Reading… Updates!

This is a major rant post, feel free to read on! 🙂

Sleep

So about a week ago, maybe two (?) I had a really bad night. So, it was a Sunday which means that the following morning I had to wake up for school at 7:00am. I jumped in the shower, got everything done, and tucked into bed by 11pm that Sunday night… and was still awake at 7:00 when I was supposed to be just waking up for school.

That night went as follows:

  • 11pm- tried sleeping
  • Intrusive thoughts
  • 12am- stopped thinking and fell into half sleep (crappy sleep where you’re still conscious, it’s basically closing your eyes, calm heart rate, slower mind.. half sleep is just what I call it!)
  • 12:30- “woke up” from notifications on my laptop
  • put on classical music to try to sleep
  • repositioned pillows, got comfy again
  • tried to sleep
  • 12:45- started texting people to talk to them and try to clear my mind
  • 1-1:30- tried to sleep and couldn’t

Continue reading “Sleep, Mental health, Stress, Reading… Updates!”

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Asexuality

So, I just finished beta reading a book which I’m hoping to tell you much more about at a later date…It’s called Simply an Enigma. Written by one of my fellow bloggers, and bookstagramers with her friend. And I just want to say, this helped me so much. I needed this book… to read an asexual perspective, ahhh the validation!

Hey everyone, I identify as grey ace!

Yes, this could change as sexuality is fluid. This is something I need to wrap my head around a bit…asexuality is comfortable for me right now, and I don’t want it to change.

Although it’s comfortable, it doesn’t mean I fully accept it. I have tons of doubts and negative self talk around my sexuality…which isn’t uncommon.

But through reading this book, I realized that I’m not alone with how I feel. There are other people that think and feel the same things that I do.

I’m normal

I’m not broken, or weird, or anything of the sort.

I am me, and I am perfect the way I am.

Finally. Finally somewhere I belong.

– Simply an Enigma

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Books! Currently reading, TBR, most anticipated reads!

Hi everyone! Just thought I’d post an update here:)

I’m currently reading a handful of books… Most of them are poetry. I don’t like reading poetry collections all the way through as you would a regular book, but rather just read them day by day, a few poems at a time. Because of this, 3 of my 4 current reads are poetry collections!

Currently Reading

  • Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur
  • The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur
  • Whiskey Words & a Shovel (#3) by R. H. Sin
  • Simply an Enigma by Brittany Evans (myaceofhearts.wordpress.com) and Chelsea Lauren

TBR and anticipated reads below!

Continue reading “Books! Currently reading, TBR, most anticipated reads!”

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On a Poem from Milk And Honey by Rupi Kaur

I haven’t been taking the best care of myself lately. I’ve been thinking negatively about myself, not seeing the worth I carry within me.

I’m currently rereading Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur, and there’s so many amazing poems in the collection. I chose to include one in this post to talk about it today.

The way you speak of yourself
the way you degrade yourself
into smallness
is abuse

self harm– Rupi Kaur

After talking down to yourself for so long, it becomes routine. You stop realizing how much it actually hurts you, because you’ve become blind to the hurt you cause yourself. You tell yourself it’s normal and that you don’t deserve happiness. Talking negatively about yourself becomes a pattern, and it’s self harm.

Sometimes we dwell on things that happen to us and the questioning builds up into self doubt, and hatred in a way because we start to think negatively of ourselves.

This build up of negativity can lead to mental illness such as anxiety and depression, or it could stem from a mental illness in the first place.

The negativity is a heavy burden we carry around with us. It makes you question everything you do or say, in fear of how it comes across to other people. It tells us we aren’t enough. It tells us that if we would’ve done *this* differently then it would’ve been better, and why didn’t I do it that way in the first place?

It hangs on to us, sinking us so easily like an anchor tied to our feet. A single look from a stranger may be all that’s needed to make you feel negatively about yourself because of what you start questioning.

It’s not fair to you to speak and think so negatively about yourself, yet we do it anyway.

It’s a hard cycle to break once you get stuck in it.

But once you break that cycle, and you see that you are enough, that you’re perfect the way you are, your mind will be more at ease. You’ll see the worth you carry, and everything you really deserve.

You deserve happiness. You deserve to love yourself, and to feel comfortable with who you are.

It’s okay if you aren’t there yet, many of us are not, including myself. But we’ll all get there in our own time.

Always remember, you are enough.

Xx

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Book Review! Looking For Alaska, by John Green.

About

Title: Looking For Alaska

Author: John Green

Rating

4 stars

Synopsis

Before. Miles “Pudge” Halter is done with his safe life at home. His whole life has been one big non-event, and his obsession with famous last words has only made him crave “the Great Perhaps” even more (Francois Rabelais, poet). He heads off to the sometimes crazy and anything-but-boring world of Culver Creek Boarding School, and his life becomes the opposite of safe. Because down the hall is Alaska Young. The gorgeous, clever, funny, sexy, self-destructive, screwed up, and utterly fascinating Alaska Young. She is an event unto herself. She pulls Pudge into her world, launches him into the Great Perhaps, and steals his heart. Then. . . .
After. Nothing is ever the same.

Review

John Green is one of my favourite authors. My favourite book of his is Turtles All The Way Down. I’ve read all but two of his books (Let it Snow, and Will Grayson Will Grayson).

I really enjoy reading this book. This was my third time reading it, and I loved it just as much as I did the first time I picked it up.

The characters are diverse, and I like their personalities. The Colonel especially, and his wit and sarcasm.

(SPOILERS IN THIS PARAGRAPH)… The climax/ending bothered me a bit. Alaska freaks out in the middle of the night and drives off school campus and crashes her car and dies. We never find out if it was suicide or an accident, because there’s evidence supporting both. I suppose this kind of put us into the other character’s shoes because they were trying to figure that out too, but I wish there was more to it, more of an answer. On the other hand, it’s a reflection on life and how there isn’t always answers for something that happens, so I’m torn.

The book talks a lot about seeking out a great perhaps. Finding the meaning of life. Also about the labyrinth of suffering we call life.

The book is rather dark depending on how you look at it.. So it might not be for everyone.

It’s also a ‘typical teen book’ as I call them, so there’s a few clichés scattered in there, love triangles, etc.

Overall, I really like this book… It’s one of my go- to books to pull me out of a reading slump, and it’s a quick read for me. I rate this book 4/5 stars.

Quote!

(…) if people were rain, I was a drizzle and she was a hurricane.

QOTD: Have you read this book? Thoughts?

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Rooted- a poem by me!

I am rooted.

A tree standing tall, resilient in the harsh, blowing winds.

Strong I stand.

I feel the storm arrive. The clouds surround the sun, suffocating its light, allowing for dark days.

There are days when the ghosts whisper in my ears, making me question all that I know, causing self doubt.

There are days when the clouds cry, making the ground muddy from their tears. I walk, and feel stuck. Unable to move because my feet are slowly sinking in the mud puddle, and I feel like crying with the clouds. But I’m too strong for that.

The winds blow strong, and I feel like anything could knock me over. I’m not the best with balance, but I’m getting there.

My feet are still learning how to support the body they were blessed to be a part of, although they don’t always see it as a blessing.

The sun hides away, suffocated by the clouds surrounding it. I too feel suffocated at times, but it feels safe to hide away sometimes. To block out everything around me and just, be.

But rather than hide away, I need to force myself to grow and bloom.

I need to stand strong and face the ghosts, the demons, that try to attack me.

The storm blows strong, but I am stronger.

I am rooted.

A tree standing tall, resilient in the harsh, blowing winds.

Strong I stand.

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Poetry

I love poetry… if it wasn’t obvious by looking at my current reads. I currently have 3 poetry books on the go, alongside the novels I’m reading.

Poetry connects one another. It’s used as a form of expression. Metaphors make it easier to express how we feel in a deeper meaning, when normal words don’t work as well.
Some things are hard to talk about, but talking about it in a creative matter such as poetry can make it a lot easier.

My favourite poets at the moment are

  • Rupi Kaur
  • Amanda Lovelace
  • R.H. Sin

I read a lot of poetry about mental health and mental illness. I find it easy to write about and I like reading about it too. I find it so amazing that we have poetry as an outlet to write about our experiences, to show others that no one is alone in the battles they are fighting, even when we feel alone.

Through the next few weeks, I will be posting reviews of the poetry books as I finish them, and I’m hoping to add in my favourites in those reviews. I am also hoping to post a few of my own poems in the near future, so look out for posts for those!

QOTD: Do you read poetry?

milk and honey

 

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More Stress… :)

It has been a stressful few weeks if I do say so myself.

I’ve had two to three assignments due each week, and last week I had two tests on top of that.

I’m starting to fall behind on assignments again so I need to catch up on stuff tomorrow I think.

Below is sort of a rant of my day yesterday!

Continue reading “More Stress… :)”

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Update!

As for reading, I finished When We Collided by Emery Lord, and wrote a review on it…if you haven’t seen that post yet, go read it!:)

I am also currently reading…

  • The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur
  • Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur
  • Whiskey Words & a Shovel by R.H.Sin
  • Looking for Alaska by John Green
  • (Starting Thursday!) Simply an Enigma..more on this below!

Continue reading “Update!”

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Book Review: When We Collided by Emery Lord

About:
Book: When We Collided
Author: Emery Lord

Rating:
4 Stars

Synopsis:

We are seventeen and shattered and still dancing. We have messy, throbbing hearts, and we are stronger than anyone could ever know…

Jonah never thought a girl like Vivi would come along.

Vivi didn’t know Jonah would light up her world.

Neither of them expected a summer like this…a summer that would rewrite their futures.

In an unflinching story about new love, old wounds, and forces beyond our control, two teens find that when you collide with the right person at just the right time, it will change you forever.

Review below!
Continue reading “Book Review: When We Collided by Emery Lord”

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Ereaders

…I gave in.

After saying that I preferred reading a physical book than one on an ereader, I was thinking of the benefits an ereader could bring. The main things I wanted one for would be to be able to have more than one book with me and it not weigh a ton, and basically that reason for trips as I have a few coming up this year.

I looked up a ton of brands and editions, and tried convincing myself that it wouldn’t be a waste of money. And then I tried to convince myself that it would be.

….And then I gave in and bought one.

You see, I’m really impulsive sometimes. This all happened in 12 hours I believe? Which is kind of bad…but I think I’m really going to like this!

I have already downloaded a bunch of books, mainly series that I want to read but haven’t had the money to buy all the books for. And this has already saved me a ton of money.

Not only that but an ereader is super lightweight.

Mine is the Kobo Aura…2nd edition I believe.

And so my journey of ereading begins!

Question… Do you have an ereader? Do you use it often? 🙂

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Self Care and School

I find that I do less self care during the school week than I do on weekends, and even then I don’t do much…oops. This is definitely something I need to work on.

School and work can really add to your stress level, and can lead to anxiety and sometimes depression too.

Everyone needs to practice self care, but students especially need to have self care practices so we don’t get overloaded and too stressed.

Below is a list of things you could do to practice self care, and can be used by anyone, student or not!

Continue reading “Self Care and School”

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Goals for March

I think I need to set myself more goals, and try to make smaller steps to try to accomplish my goals instead of looking at it as a whole. Overall, my goals for this month are related to reading, self care/ mental health, finances, and school.

Read more below!

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The Foster Care System

My family fosters with a branch of CAS, that places native children in native homes so they can keep learning about and connecting with their culture. I have 2 biological siblings of my own, and the most kids we’ve had in the house was 7 total.

We’ve had 3 children that we were going to adopt, one of them is currently placed with us. He came to us when he was a day old, and he’s 9 months old now.

We started the adoption process and another family stepped forward and is taking him. He could be leaving at any time, as soon as tomorrow…it’s really whenever they call and say they’re coming to get him.

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Invalidating Someone’s Sexuality

I just wanted to make a post about this because it’s been bugging me a bit lately… Invalidating someone’s sexuality.

When I started looking into orientations and what not, I came across the term “asexual”, and I think it fits right now, grey ace is most comfortable.

I’ve told a few close friends, and my boyfriend, but not many other people. My sister knows, and accepts it. My parents on the other hand… not so much.

Rant below!

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My Spirit Guide!

In my previous post I talked about meditation and spirit guides. I’m still learning about mine so I’m taking this post as an opportunity to do so!

I started with a Shamanic Journey, which is a form of meditation. I did this as a guided meditation because I can’t yet lead myself through a meditation. The videos I found on Youtube were using Native American drumming, which connects you to Mother Earth and grounds you. These videos are very calming, and easy to relax to.

I find it easier to lay down rather than sit when I meditate. I have horrible balance, so if I sit I tend to rock back and forth which probably wouldn’t help with a meditation, and laying down is just more comfortable for me. I fall asleep sometimes because I get so relaxed!

The meditation took me on a journey to a garden where the speaker told me that if my spirit guide decided to show itself to me, it would in this place that I created in my mind through meditation….. more below about my Shamanic Journey!

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Meditation and Spirit Guides

The last few months have been rather bumpy. I became overloaded with extracurriculars at school so I had to drop one, got overloaded with school work around exams, picked up more babysitting jobs which keeps me busy, and I’ve sort of isolated myself a bit. This has all lead to a drop in my mood, and although I’ve kept up with journaling, I stopped meditating which is something I wanted to start again. And so I did. Read on for the start of my journey!

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Self Care

Today I guess I could say I did some self care stuff.

I woke up a decent time and wasn’t too tired so I guess I slept well:)
I did some laundry which is my chore at home, and then put in a few loads of my own so I could have clean clothes again.

I painted a picture for my mom because it’s her birthday on Tuesday and although it wasn’t perfect, I’m proud of it. Next I went for a walk, which I don’t usually choose to do.

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Reading Update!

I haven’t read a ton in the last few weeks…oops! But I did read:

  1. (Reread) All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven
  2. (Halfway through) When We Collided by Emery Lord
  3. (Half-ish way through) Whiskey Words & a Shovel (3)

I’m hoping to catch up on reading in the next week or so and have more of an update for everyone next weekend!

What are your current reads?:)

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Why be “Normal”?

Normality may be a “paved road”, but who’s to say what “normal” is?

VanGogh

What defines “normal”?

The only reason there’s guidelines to describe something as “normal” is because we need there to be. Society makes expectations on how someone acts, what they do, what they say, what they think, what they feel…everything.

We all need these guidelines, structured definitions, to make us feel comfortable. We don’t want to feel alienated so we conform to the expectations set out before us by society. But at the same time, many are too quick to judge others, I myself am guilty of this, and we tend to categorize people into “normal'” and “abnormal” based on things they do, say, think, etc. We thrive on this, because it makes their “flaws” stand out showing how different we are compared to this other person, and it makes us feel… “normal”, in comparison.

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Picking Myself Up

So lately I’ve sort of started isolating myself more. I don’t really talk to anyone other than my boyfriend, which I’m good with but both he and my parents are a bit worried about that and say I need to socialize more. I’ve also been having more “neutral” days as I call them, and days where I’m really tired and can’t focus on school work.

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Yellow Paint

I have come across this quote many times on social media, and it has become one of my favourites.

The idea of consuming paint is rather hard to swallow, but it’s understandable when you understand why someone would do so. The colour yellow represents happiness, and if you’re down and depressed as Van Gogh was, it’s easier to see why he would consume yellow paint.

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Future Tattoo!

For the last few months I’ve been thinking about getting a tattoo…except I’m not very good with pain, and I’d probably pass out if I went to get a tattoo! But, if I got a small one maybe I’d be okay. So a small tattoo is what I’ve been looking for, and I came across arrow tattoos.

Not only are they super cute, and can be designed in many different ways, but the meaning  behind them is the main reason I’ve chosen an arrow as my tattoo.

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Love Yourself

You should aspire to love yourself always, but love yourself even more on the bad days

-unknown (found on Tumblr)

The above is a quote I found on Tumblr earlier this week. The importance of self love, is not yet a universal concept. We often love others more than we love ourselves, which I think is normal, especially when you don’t think much of yourself. If you have a low self esteem, or self image, it’s easy to put other people above you, and treat yourself like you’re nothing.

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Finding Happiness in the Little Things

Lately, I’ve had a lot of down moods, or “off ” days, and am still having anxiety. In these moods, I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to socialize with most of my friends, any really except for my boyfriend…I think this may be because I just feel so comfortable with him and want him with me when I’m having off days. During these days, I also don’t focus on much, which kinda sucks when I actually have to do something, like school work, because I can’t focus on anything… it’s easier to just scroll on my phone because I don’t have the motivation to do anything else.

Especially in the last while with these down days, I’ve found that I need to focus more on the little things that bring me happiness. Life gets stressful, and sometimes you just need to pull yourself up and find happiness in the little things. Find the candle in the darkness.

Below is a list of things I find my happiness in:)

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Sexuality (pt. 2)

In my last post, I talked about sexuality, specifically talking about asexual and aromantic orientations.

In this post, I’ll be talking about myself and sexuality.

I’m not entirely sure where to start. I’m hoping this post helps me accept my sexuality, and maybe help others understand themselves as well.

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Sexuality

Sexuality is a messy thing because it’s such a spectrum and it can be very fluid. Being on the LGTBQ+ spectrum is being accepted more and more but there’s still some hate being directed to those in the community.

Society is quite hetero-normative. It’s hard enough to figure yourself out, especially as a teenager, but it makes it a lot harder when you feel pressure to conform to what society expects you to be, and how you should act, especially if it’s about sexuality.

In this post, I’ll be talking mainly about the “+” section of LGTBQ+, in particular, Aromantic and Asexual sexualities.

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I’ve Graduated! But it was a hard semester… -School/ Motivation Loss

So, I thought I’d post on this again because it seems to be an ongoing issue for me, and other people seem to relate so I’m hoping these posts are helping you guys as well!

It has been a bumpy road for the last few months. About halfway through May, I realized how behind I was with school. I had around 15 assignments that were overdue, due within a few days, or needed to be in by exams (Monday, June 18).

So I tried to prioritize and work on the assignments that would influence my marks the most, and also the ones that were overdue and needed to be handed in.

More below!

Continue reading “I’ve Graduated! But it was a hard semester… -School/ Motivation Loss”

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